If you are a fan of Married At First Sight, then this may be your first exposure to celebrants. (Or maybe you were a fan of Don’t Tell The Bride?) Either way, celebrants are absolutely not shown in the best light.

I understand this, as the show isn’t about the celebrant – it’s about the couple; and also for editing purposes things have to be kept short. But I cringe when I see the celebrants standing there mute; looking uncomfortable, unable to comfort an anxious groom, or to chat to the crowd. It’s obviously how they’ve been instructed to behave but you need to know that’s absolutely NOT how it should be.

As well as organizing a fabulous service, a celebrant will do pre-wedding announcements about switching off phones, and photography preferences (many couples don’t want their family and friends snapping away during the service).

They’ll chat to the partner waiting anxiously for their other half. They’ll check that the best man has the rings (and they’ll ask his name). They may get to know the in-laws as they wait.

They check with the venue manager who is doing the music; and organize with the photographer what angles will be best. So much to do prior to the service, and so much during.

My own personal approach is to be very evident prior to the wedding; to really hold space when it’s my bit during the service, but then to melt away at important times during the service. The love letters (should a couple choose to do them) are absolutely between the pair – I shouldn’t be in the frame at all. The same for the first kiss – who wants a celebrant looming in the background?

Conducting a celebrant wedding is the fine art of organizing, guiding, smoothing, leading, stepping back and wrapping it all up in a big-love shaped bow at the end.

At least that’s how I like to do it!